The One That Was The Night Before

Well, I go into hospital tomorrow and am having surgery on Wednesday..!

I've had a great day today. Very, very tiring but really lovely :'). All my friends came round for pizza and ice-cream and my highly awesome-artistic friend Amy made me this gorgeous 'good luck' card with the sweetest, most inspiring message (she alerted me to the fact that we've now known each other for 14 YEARS!! :O). Another one of my friends, Claire, made a 'good luck, we'll be there for you' video-montage of all us gals which, upon seeing it later, made my mother cry!
I love my friends so much..they are my rock(s).
I probably shouldn't but I can't help but hope that next time we're all together, I'll be able to listen, to them talk, with ease and follow the conversation smoothly. Call me paranoid, negative or superstitious, but I can't help worry (and I know this is stupid) that thinking positively or hoping that the desired outcome (senses restored) will happen will mean it, well..won't.

The surgeons will put me on traction straight away, when I'm still in theatre. They're gonna take all the metal that was put in last time (halo round 1) out, so to avoid mega-life-threatening brain slippage, I'll be attached to the bed straight away (when I come round). I remember last time, the weights were only applied later on. I made a big ceremony of going to the loo for the 'last time'  (in a week). Ahh yes..the loo situation. More on that in a sec. Anyways, my parents told me that I'll be on the HDU (high dependency unit) for a few days so they can keep an eye on my flimsy, metal-less spine. This means, 24/7, screaming babies and blinding lights, It's my mum I really feel for. I plan to be doped up and outta it, for the best part of next week, but my mum won't have the peace and luxury of morphine and diazepam, like me.
Right..the loo. I am about to be subjected to regular humiliation, every day and night. I'll keep it short and..er, savoury. Cardboard potty. Doting mother. Attached to a bed. You get the picture. Next time you use the bathroom, thank your lucky stars that you don't have to do it hooked up to a hospital bed.
I'm not very religious, but every night I go to bed and I pray to god, that everything will work out. I don't know if I'll get a chance to supply an update before surgery. Hell, I don't know if I'll even be able to, once I'm in traction! So please wish me luck.

I'm so tired. Just so tired of feeling tired and all I can do is hope and pray that it will change...

EH
xo